The Roaring 20’s

Okay let’s clear this up, I don’t actually mean the 1920’s. Sorry Gatsby. I’m talking about the twenties that are filled with almost nothing but WTF. I wish I could talk about this subject with full perspective, but being that I have only been in my twenties for four years now, so I don’t think I’m qualified. That being said, this is just me venting out my frustrations of my twenties so far. I am a full-time student who longs for nothing but the balance people constantly rave on about having on social media. Shown through their nice edited pictures of there new car, new girlfriend/boyfriend, and new shoes. It’s weird, I know it’s all bullshit. Almost none of it is ever real since social media is just a place where we put out our very best for the world, and yet I feel that annoying envy almost every time. Why? Well being in my younger twenties as a low-income college student in one of the biggest cities in America is a realization I have not fully accepted, and I believe this envy I have for the mere image of success is triggered by my denial. As I struggle to afford a healthy meal, I look with awe and jealousy at that girl on Instagram posting a picture of her mega-sized fries with cheese and her seemingly perfect boyfriend sitting in front of them. I wouldn’t be able to finish those fries. Hell, they would probably make me sick. And if my boyfriend (if I had one) sat in front of those fries without trying to fight me for them, I don’t think I’d want much to do with him. Also, why do his eyebrows look better than mine? Of course, the roaring 20’s is not all about what you don’t have and what others do, it is about feeling a sense of confusion so profound it is almost unreal. Why am I in school? Why do I live in this city? Is this another melt down? I’m a heterosexual woman, right !? Everything is just a question. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine. The way I see it, or what I tell myself anyway to not have breakdowns everyday, your twenties are a time to grow into the person you will be for the rest of your life. We as humans well never cease to grow mentally, but the twenties is really when we grow from our childhood/adolescent shell into that bill-paying, back-aching, adult that we must live with until we die. It’s kind of like we are all back in kindergarten, asking questions for everything and figuring out what’s what of the world except now if we make a mistake, we could be homeless and starving. So no pressure. I call it the roaring twenties because everything just seems so intensified right now. RENTS DUE. ESSAYS DUE. EXERCISE. FIND BOYFRIEND. Okay, maybe that last one do to myself which is a factor into my misery. But that’s an entirely different story. For now the moral of this messy rant is just that I’m tired. The roaring twenties are tiring but ultimately fucking amazing. I’m not crazy, nor am I masochist but when again will I ever be this young? Time is limited and even though it is okay to complain and whine all you want about your life, I also believe it is important that we genuinely do not take it for granted. As I struggle to make it as a single girl with shit money and an even shittier diet in this grand city, I realize how blessed I truly am to have what I have. Now, can someone please tell me that my later twenties are easier. Please.